From Camp to Courage | 1

Welcome to Episode 1. Today, we're diving into Rosemarie's journey, titled "From Camp to Courage."

Rosemarie's life began in an internment camp after World War II, where her family faced tough times. They had to start anew after the war, but challenges persisted. This chapter focuses intimately on Rosemarie's first 68 years – the joys, the struggles, and the ordinary moments that make up a human life – we're also setting the stage for a series that will confront the universal battles against cancer. We'll share not only the specific details of Rosemarie's story, but also how it mirrors the hope and path that we all share.  But for now, let's start at where it all began.

Thanks for listening. For more information please visit hopelovecancer.com. You can also follow us on Instagram or Facebook.

Transcript

Speaker 1:
Welcome to the start of an incredible journey as we launch into the debut podcast series “tumour, tumour, on the wall” presented by hope love cancer. Throughout this series, you will accompany us on a profound and intimate exploration, delving into the personal story of an individual's battle with cancer, alongside her caregiver.

This journey is guided by a simple, yet profound notion: that one person’s cancer story can shine as a guiding light. This story that will resonate with your own, as we explore the universal questions, concerns, and experiences that many of us encounter. 

 From the initial diagnosis and the whirlwind of emotions it brings, treatment options, managing side-effects, finding strength amidst the uncertainty and the road to recovery - we'll address all aspects of the cancer journey, including palliative care and the grieving process.

Whether you're a patient, a caregiver, a family member, or a friend, each episode will deliver relatable content that resonates with you.

We understand that the path of cancer can often be lonely, but through this podcast series, we aim to bridge the gaps and build a community where you can find hope and love. We are STRONGER TOGETHER.

Please welcome your host, Eve.

Speaker 2:
Hello, and welcome to "tumour, tumour, on the wall," where every life has a story and every story holds a meaning of its own. I'm Charlie, your guide through the pages of a life penned by Renée, the heart behind hope love cancer. In this first episode, we're peeling back the layers of time to reveal the beginnings of Rosemarie's life. Before the trials, before the diagnosis, there was a girl with dreams, a woman with ambitions, and a life rich with experiences. These are the threads that laid the groundwork for the journey that Renée has captured with depth and care. 

While today's chapter focuses intimately on Rosemarie's first 68 years – the joys, the struggles, and the ordinary moments that make up a human life – we're also setting the stage for a series that will, in time, confront the universal battles against cancer. We'll share not only the specific details of Rosemarie's story, but also how it mirrors the hope and path that we all share. So, as we take these first steps into Rosemarie's world, remember that this is just the beginning. Along the way, we will delve into the concerns and questions that unite us all in the face of cancer. But for now, let's start at the start: a foundation upon which we'll build understanding and from which we'll draw strength.

Join me as we turn the pages back to the chapters that predate hope love cancer, to the story of Rosemarie, that started it all.

To fully understand her story, let's wind the clock back. March of 1947 marked Rosemarie's entrance into the world, an entrance coloured by the sobering shadows of World War II. Born in Norton, Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), in an Internment Camp, she was a product of a time when her German-born parents were still restricted within camp walls, even though the war had already ended in 1945.

You may wonder what an internment camp is and why they were there? Internment camps were places where individuals, often from enemy or enemy-occupied nations, were detained during times of war or when there were national security concerns. Rosemarie's parents, however, were not enemy combatants nor involved in any wartime activities. They had arrived in Africa long before the war, seeking a peaceful life far removed from conflict. Unfortunately, due to wartime policies and suspicions, they remained in the internment camp even after the war had concluded. It was a time of uncertainty and a reminder of the complex and sometimes unjust consequences of global conflicts.

The camp had a silver lining: it was the unexpected setting where her parents, Inge and Willy, first crossed paths. Emerging from the aftermath of World War II, the restrictive confines of Norton's Internment Camp in Rhodesia became an unlikely setting for companionship. During difficult times in the camp, Inge and Willy however did find comfort in each other's company.  Inge’s culinary expertise landed her a place in the camp's kitchen, while Willy ensured the kitchen had its supplies. Their bond was a source of hope in a challenging environment, even more so for Willy, who had lost his first wife to pneumonia in 1945, leaving behind two children, Günter and Elizabeth, from his first marriage. For the men in the camp, the “roukol” or roll calls served as a daily, grim reminder of their confinement. In this confining backdrop, a significant chapter began — they got married in 1946.

Inge, in those challenging circumstances, had not desired to have children of her own. This decision is quite understandable, given the context of the camp and the uncertainty of the times. However, shortly after their marriage, she unexpectedly became pregnant. Remember, it was 1947, a time when there were no ultrasounds or advanced prenatal care. Inge was already a stepmother to Willy's two children, Günter and Elizabeth, ages 10 and 13. But as she gave birth, an even bigger surprise awaited: not one, but two babies were born, both prematurely. The revelation of twins at birth was such a profound shock to Inge that it induced a temporary blindness, a psychosomatic condition known as Conversion Disorder. 

Rosemarie was the firstborn and, despite being born prematurely, she proved to be the stronger of the two. Inge faced the challenge of caring for both infants and, unable to produce enough breast milk for both, allowed another mother in the camp, one with an ample milk supply, to help care for Rosemarie, ensuring her well-being during those challenging times.

In 1947, changes were on the horizon. The war had ended in 1945, and many people in the internment camps, including those of German descent, were allowed to go back to their home country, Germany. This decision was also part of international agreements. These rules said that people who were far from home should be sent back to their own country. Their return journey, enduring three testing weeks at sea, concluded in Lauenförde. They went back to a broken Germany, where there were not enough jobs, homes, food…Life here posed its own set of challenges: they shared a Jewish manor with sixteen other families, each grappling with the scars of the war. The scarcity of essential supplies was palpable — queues for food coupons were endless, and they had to get creative, like using the twins Vaseline as a cooking ingredient. However, brighter days lay ahead. Willy could speak English and this opened a door to South Africa. 

In 1950, with a mere 10 pounds in savings but hope for a brighter future, the family of six began a new chapter in Middelburg, South Africa. Willy's contact, whom he'd met years earlier in a camp and who had promised him a job, tragically passed away upon their arrival. Another obstacle confronted them. Determined, Rosemarie’s dad went from mine to mine seeking employment. Eventually, luck was on his side and he secured a position at a small coal mine that serviced machinery for a company named Joy. This company, hearing of his skills, offered him a job. He dedicated himself there until the age of 72.

Over time, they bought a house with a big yard. They kept chickens, two cows, chinchillas, and cultivated a garden with vegetables and fruits. This not only allowed them to be self-sufficient, but also provided an additional source of income. They sold butter, eggs, chicken, chinchillas and vegetables. Each family member played a crucial role.

In the early days, before school, Günter had to polish floors for people to earn extra income. He also took the responsibility of leading the cows to the field to graze. Moreover, he took charge of milking the cows, making butter, collecting, and cleaning the eggs. Willy would sell these products at the mine. Elizabeth, when she was just 16, was tasked with caring for another family's 5 children.

As Rosemarie got older, she took over some of Günter ’s duties and delivering produce by bicycle to town residents. Willy often worked away from home. Their childhood was challenging. The parents, scarred emotionally from experiencing two World Wars, did their best. The impact on the children was profound, both positively and negatively. The hardships made them diligent workers. Yet, Renée’s mom, lingered a longing for those fleeting instances of more warmth and love. 

Although they built a life in Middelburg, the family felt the absence of their extended relatives. Willy never saw his parents again after leaving Germany, mainly communicating via letters. Inge’s mother and Rosemarie's cherished grandmother visited South Africa once. Sadly, her grandmother passed away in her early 70s from gynecological cancer. From birth, Inge showed noticeable affection towards Rosemarie's twin brother, leaving a lasting mark on Rosemarie. Maybe she tried to make up for it with Renée, as Renée experienced her as a warmer and more loving grandmother.

Growing up, Rosemarie was surrounded by 3 different languages. The homely tones of German, the school rhythms of Afrikaans, and later, the balanced blend of Afrikaans and English during her high school years. She was a very popular, bright girl in her formative years. Rosemarie had long blond hair and beautiful big brown eyes. Her thirst for knowledge led her to the University of Pretoria, where she deepened her linguistic passions. Yet, her academic journey wasn't without crossroads. Her father envisioned two paths for her: nursing or teaching. Guided by his advice, Rosemarie opted for teaching and became a high school teacher. The children absolutely adored her. Yet, deep within, the corridors of law beckoned her. For a brief moment, she dabbled in legal studies, nurturing an analytical and justice-driven side of herself. And, reflecting on her love for languages, one can't help but wonder: if she were to venture academically today, might she have chosen law, advocating for justice? Or perhaps, the intricate field of speech therapy? Renée would have chosen speech therapy for her. Combining her love for children, her love for languages, and her deep compassion, speech therapy would have been an ideal path for her. It would have allowed her to make a significant difference in the lives of children, using her linguistic talents and nurturing their communication skills, offering a more specialised and targeted form of one-on-one support compared to traditional teaching. Regrettably, Renée missed the opportunity to discuss this newfound lightbulb career choice with her mom

In 1972, Rosemarie met Tobie, a moment that would quietly shape the decades to come. A couple of years later they bumped into each other again. Life took another turn in 1977, when Tobie and Rosemarie got married. They became pregnant and had a baby girl in 1979. This led Rosemarie into the life-changing path of motherhood. You guessed it. That little girl was Renée and this is where her story started.

Rosemarie endured a difficult pregnancy, with their tiny baby girl making an early entrance into the world. In those times, a seven-month premature birth posed significant risks. Their little baby showed an eagerness to embrace life even before reaching that mark, a testament to both challenge and hope in an era less medically advanced than today. The weight of medical advice influenced their future family decisions when they were advised to not have more children. The duo took on the twists and turns of life, with Tobie and Rosemarie both choosing the path of full-time motherhood for Rosemarie. In 1981 they returned to the town where Rosemarie grew up. During Renée’s upbringing Rosemarie subbed for short periods here and there at a local high school in the town where they lived. 

And, despite not holding a formal teaching role at the time, she stepped into the role of Renée's mentor after school, providing guidance in reading, writing, spelling, and more. Renée was fortunate in this regard; her dad could lend a hand with math and science, while her mum covered the remaining subjects. It was a collaborative effort that enhanced their daughter's education and upbringing. Life was way better than 1950. There was enough. They lived in a nice house, in a save neighbourhood. During the day mom was a housewife and when Renée got home, she would help her where she could. 

Rosemarie’s parents lived in the same town and Tobie’s parents lived on a farm not too far away. Christmas Eve would always be spent with Rosemarie’s parents, with a real Christmas tree, smelling the pine tree and the baked Christmas cookies with delicious turkey, cream sauce, rice and vegetables. Christmas Day would be with Tobie’s parents on the farm with a roast or leg of lamb, green beans and the most mouth-watering golden baked potatoes. Renée remembers her upbringing as fond memories, with a loving mom and a loving dad. I knew that there was some strain in her mom’s relationship with her mother. She probably wanted a more heart-warming mom and her mom was probably just run down from all the challenges life through at her. Renée remembers how her granddad would greet her, his grand child, with a handshake. One day she decided enough was enough - grabbed that same hand that reached out for a handshake - draw him closer and gave him a big kiss on his mouth. She could see the shock on his face, but from that day on there were no more handshakes. 

Yet, the latter part of the decade presented challenges of an entirely different nature. 

In 1990, Rosemarie faced a stage one breast cancer diagnosis. With the help of surgery and radiation, she fought through it and went into remission. Renée was just ten years old, when her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. Earlier that year, the mother of one of Renée’s school friends had passed away from cancer. Rosemarie later shared with Renée that Renée had told her, "I don’t want you to die." Hearing this from Renée, Rosemarie went to see a family physician about the pea-sized tumor in her right breast. The tumor was aggressive, requiring immediate intervention. In a twist of fate, it was the tragic death of Barend's mother that indirectly saved Rosemarie’s life.

Young Renée, shielded from the severity of the situation, couldn't fully understand the implications of her mother's diagnosis. Likely, her parents protected her from the harsh reality. Rosemarie underwent a partial mastectomy, during which all the glands under her right arm were also removed. Renée distinctly recalls that her mom’s 42rd birthday was spent in hospital. After the surgery Rosemarie and Tobie consulted with an oncologist. She underwent radiation therapy as a precaution method, and ultimately went into full remission. Due to the necessity of the treatments being in another city, Rosemarie had to stay away from home during the weekdays. With her father tied down by work responsibilities and taking care of Renée, he couldn't accompany Rosemarie during these trying times. Even though her dad wanted to be with Rosemarie,his work responsibilities and his commitment to caring for Renée kept him at home.This shows how even early-stage cancer touches the entire family, not just the person diagnosed and how important additional support is. It was only when Renée had grown older that her mother confided her past prayers, made when she was first diagnosed with cancer: to be granted enough time to get Renée through school.

Although Rosemarie went into full remission, the disease left its mark. She became wary of visiting the family physician after that initial diagnosis. Life moved on. Yet, as 1998 drew to a close, cancer returned. At that time, Renée was a second-year university student and didn't truly perceive the potential severity of the disease. She can’t recall much about the diagnosis or surgery. Mom had a full mastectomy, and this time around, they believed that her cancer would be a thing of the past and that they wouldn't have to face it again. Neither her family physician nor her surgeon referred her to an oncologist. No recommendations were made for radiation or chemotherapy. It couldn't have been that bad, right? The future seemed bright and cancer-free. Once again, life continued. 

Though, with a subtle turn of events, in August of 1999, Renée's parents decided to part ways. Their separation was amicable, and both continued to show their love and care towards Renée. This was a particularly stressful time for everyone involved. A child never wishes to see their family undergo such changes. When two people decide to marry, they never envision that one day they might grow apart. It's possible that this significant life change might have overshadowed Renée's memories of the cancer period. Each of the three—Renée and her parents—has their own perspective on what transpired. Deep down, they probably all wished for the same outcome: happiness, understanding, and unity. Throughout this period, they found ways to support one another, preserving the underlying bond that ties a family together, through both good times and challenging ones.

Over the next sixteen years, life unfolded with its typical ebbs and flows. Renée completed her university studies and, in the midst of it, met the love of her life. By 2009, they were married and she embarked on an adventurous journey overseas, accompanying her husband. Despite the distance, Renée visited her family often, and they also visited her on 2 occasions. Before her marriage and move, the family shared countless cherished moments - from birthdays to Christmases, and many 'just because' days in between.

After dealing with cancer and the aftermath of her divorce, Rosemarie entered a quieter phase. In time, she regained her zest for life. She immersed herself in various activities: joining women's groups, completing a fun run, traveling with tour groups, participating in a church play, attending concerts, visiting old and new friends and enjoying day group events. She even did some training to teach exercises to seniors and later started offering afterschool English and Math classes a few times a week, through a private organisation. These pursuits brought joy to her life.

Before this period, the family endured the loss of several loved ones. Rosemarie's parents and Tobie's father had departed earlier, with Rosemarie's mother passing in 2004 at the age of 90.

During 2012 Rosemarie's older brother passed away suddenly after a diagnosis of metastatic brain cancer, followed closely by her twin brother. Both deaths were sudden and unexpected. There were now only two siblings left. Renée recalls her mom telling her that she thought her eldest sister, Liz, would be the last of the four siblings to remainTop of Form, although her mom was 13 years younger.

As life went on, the family dynamics changed. Tobie began a new chapter of his life with Magda. The family circle grew, now including Rosemarie, Renée, Shawn, Tobie, and Magda, all sharing in the family's journey.

Over the years, cancer's reach became painfully clear to Renée. Her dad and Magda lost a friend to pancreatic cancer. Two of her friends had spouses who died from brain and metastatic breast cancer at a young age. A former high school friend passed away from brain cancer. A colleague and friend fought metastatic breast cancer for nearly ten years. And as mentioned earlier, her uncle passed away from brain cancer. During this period, Renée and Shawn grew close to a couple dealing with the wife's metastatic colon cancer, as she faced the ups and downs of remission and recurrence. The impact of the disease was profound, widespread and undeniable.

During a visit to Shawn and Renée at the end of 2014, Rosemarie mentioned experiencing chronic acid reflux, a condition she hadn't previously dealt with. Shawn, being a family physician, advised her to consult her family doctor as soon as she returned home. 

Rosemarie returned home shortly after the New Year. She had to transition from the house where Renée had grown up to a smaller, more manageable townhouse. Although the move was spurred by safety concerns, following a burglary and a subsequent attempted break-in, it wasn't an easy decision. The house held memories spanning from 1981 to 2015 — 34 years in total. Packing up those memories was emotional, but with the help of a moving company and Tobie and Magda, she moved into her new townhouse.

Rosemarie delayed her visit to the family physician because she was settling into her new home and she was brushing off her symptoms as mere acid reflux. It wasn't until April/May that she consulted her doctor. He ordered routine bloodwork and a chest x-ray. The results came back reassuring—her bloodwork was flawless, and the x-ray showed no signs of concern. She texted Renée with a light-hearted update: her doctor told her she was very healthy and joked that she'd live to be a hundred. The physician didn’t see any reason to look deeper. With such good news, he didn’t think there was anything more to worry about. Although it always lingered in Renée’s mind that he still has not insisted on a mammogram. Mom said the physician said she was healthy and she therefore did not see the need for a mammogram.

A few months had gone by, and Rosemarie was still dealing with what she thought might just be stubborn acid reflux. But along with that, her abdomen was now causing her noticeable discomfort. Coming from an upbringing were taking even the most basic medication was uncommon, Rosemarie, a woman who rarely relied on medication, was now occasionally taking aspirin and paracetamol. While these were just over-the-counter medication, to Rosemarie, they were a last resort. Looking back, it was a clear sign to Renée that her mother's pain was more serious than she let on. 

Meanwhile, Tobie observed that Rosemarie's tummy had grown a little fuller. They made light of the change, suggesting that she was just enjoying her meals a bit too much — a little joke since Rosemarie had always been slender, despite her great love for food. It was a playful nod to the changing rhythms of an aging body and a slowing metabolism — nothing serious, just one of those light-hearted observations. But behind this light-hearted comment was a change that, in the grand scheme of things, carried more weight than they could have anticipated.

Rosemarie, with her usual strength and a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, finally made her way to see the family doctor about the pain in her stomach. He ordered an ultrasound. The investigation revealed that there were gallstones.

As our episode draws to a close, we leave you with Rosemarie at a crossroad, the kind that’s all too familiar in the narratives of our lives. It’s the end of November 2015, and surgery looms in the near future. Gallstones are the known culprit, but an undertone of concern lingers in the background. Rosemarie, with Tobie and Magda by her side, is holding on to a thread of hope that this is nothing more than a simple procedure.

Yet, there’s a whisper of something more, a biopsy scheduled quietly alongside the operation. Rosemarie has chosen to shield Renée from the weight of worry, a testament to a mother’s protective instinct.

So, what happens when the ordinary becomes uncertain, when routine check-ups lead to unexpected paths? Will this be a straightforward solution, or is there a turning point ahead that will change everything? That’s a chapter yet to be opened.

In our next episode, Renée will take us further into Rosemarie's journey, where hope intertwines with reality, and where a daughter finds strength in her mother's resilience. Join us next time, as we continue to uncover the layers of a story that reminds us of the strength found in the bonds of family.